Spaces

This week has been an emotional one. Music and memories have been the theme. I've thought about moments that I have not thought of in a long time, and I've missed people that I miss everyday, but with more missing and longing than usual.

Do you ever remember the person you once were, and think, what happened? How did I lose touch with myself? And by "myself" I mean the things that were once important to you and defined you in that time, when you thought you were your most authentic, the most elemental part of your individuality and existence. You think it has become muddled and lost an hidden under a pile of the mundane and routine and day to day events that in the grand picture of life, really don't matter. I'm grateful when I am shaken awake by these thoughts because then I do remember, and I recognize that I've become lured into paying attention to the trivial and seemingly crucial aspects of living, therefore I can refocus my energy on what really matters to me, and be the me I mean to be.

These thoughts are especially important as I face this huge change in my life. Another life is about to enter this world, and he or she is going to rely on me to make sense of it, to be a guide and a teacher while this child creates his or her own sense of being and belonging. I better know where I stand.

I miss my aunt. I miss her so much. I miss her wisdom, her words, her music, her voice, her art, and her philosophies. I miss her life. She is the core of everything that I aspire to. I wish you all could have known her. I wish my child could know her. She is all the brilliant women of history, both known and unknown. She lived the truest life. She lived her life exactly as she meant to, without excuses, and without compromise. I can only hope to follow her example, as best I can, for the sake of my children to come. Everyone should know someone such as this. Everyone should be so blessed as to have a guardian on Earth to guide them. Mine has moved on to other spaces, but I still remember her and remember what I learned from her.

Anyhow, if you'd bothered to read this far, perhaps you would be so kind as to watch the video below. (If you know me personally, you may have seen it already on facebook) In my heart these thoughts and these words are connected. I don't think I could begin to explain. Perhaps it will mean something to you.



And here is the song that Lhasa wrote to accompany this philosophy
Soon This Space Will Be Too Small