"How to Get the Life You Want"

I don't know that I have any specific New Year's Resolutions. I do have some general goals/ideas that I always keep in mind, however.

Weight: I lost nearly 15 pounds last year and am keeping it down so far. Even around this midwest diet. I'd like to maintain that and get back into shape. I've stopped running and I want to be active again. I wish I had Eve around so that she can kick my butt into going on runs and hikes with her again.

Career: I need to get back on track. I'm not even registered for my tests (Don't have the money to pay for them), but I have to or my provisional license will expire. I need to have my own classroom again next fall if anything in my life is going to work. Or at least have a job with a salary that will support myself and have hours and responsibilities I enjoy.

Life: Here's the biggie. I'm not happy. I don't know whether I need to accept that I'm not going to own a home anytime soon, have the financial stability I desire, and the means to have my own business, OR if I put caution to the wind, my finances in further jeopardy, and just do what I dream.

I read this article today. Seems like it was meant for me. How to Get the Life You Want

I'll be 30 in six months. I want to have accomplished so much more than I have by then. But I have to tell myself what I already have accomplished:

1. Second in all my relatives and ancestors to have graduated from college, and a University at that, and earn a Bachelors degree (first person was my sister).
2. First to have earned a Masters degree. (My sister is still working on her PhD).
3. Lived on my own for 4 years, after 6 years living with roommates, a total of 10 years away from family 400 miles away.
4. I've lived on the beach. Not many people will ever get to do that. It was only a year, but it was wonderful. Rented it with some friends. An adorable cottage with gardens, a hammock, and a huge porch. For two years after that I lived in a house only four blocks from the beach. That was nice too.
5. Taught for 5 years successfully where I was loved by students and parents, and praised by my principal. Rallied together with my staff when our school was closed.
6. Took action in honor of causes I cared about. Political marches and public rallies, volunteered for AIDS organizations, passed out condoms, chained myself to buildings in response to anti-immigrant propostions, helped write proposals and political letters. And the Biggies
7. Participated in Avon Breast Cancer walk, raised money for a cure and walked 40 miles in two days in New York City.
8. Ran a marathon. Trained with Team in Training and raised money for Leukemia and Lymphoma.
9. I Bungee Jumped.
10. Lived in Mexico for two months and got myself around on my own, lived with a family, and improved my Spanish a great deal, connected with my heritage, climbed the pyramids, climbed a mountain, and this is where I bunjee jumped.
11. Went to New York City twice. First time on my own, second with the Avon Walk.
12. Fulfilled a dream and went to Ireland. Saw magical places and gorgeous landscape. Learned to drive on the wrong side of the road and got my mom and I everywhere, kissed the Blarney stone and stood at the edge of the world (Cliffs of Moher)
13. Drove across the country (most of it anyway) from California to Chicago, IL. Saw states I never expected to see, like Nebraska. Experienced my first dust storm and my first tornado.
14. Some smaller things I've done. Learned to surf in one of the best surf towns in the world. Snowboard. Became an avid biker/ bike commuter. Play the guitar. Written two books. Fished in open sea in Florida. I paint and draw pretty well. I'm a decent cook.
15. I knit and crochet. Which is all I do right now that makes me feel good.

I'm sure if I thought about it, I could think of more things that I've done. Doing so has made me feel better. I never intended to list these things since I started to write this while crying and frustrated, but when it came to me, it seemed like the thing to do and I'm glad I did it.

I'm so mixed up. I'm proud of what I've done so far, but I want more. Maybe it's because right now, at the present, I'm doing nothing really worthwhile.